There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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