I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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