The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
