I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's never too late to be topless.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
