for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
