Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
