god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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