Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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