just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
