I'm drive I can fine osifer
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
