im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
