did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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