Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
time to smoke my breakfast
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
