Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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