hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
