Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
