Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize