White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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