haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
