You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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