It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
