I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize