he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
