I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
