their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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