Duck Duck Cougar?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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