That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
