all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
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I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
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Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize