I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
