you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was confusing and full of hummus
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
