There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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