just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Two words: blizzard sex
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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