apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize