i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
