just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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