My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
