my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
