you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
