naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
