giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
