wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
