It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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