I think i peed on brittanys purse
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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