just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
