Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
