sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize