He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Terrible idea I love it
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
