just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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