Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize