i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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