Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you have to choose: penises or morals?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
