I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
