I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
