we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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