Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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