as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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