Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
