we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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